In the eighties movie version of Excalibur, Arthur asks Merlin what is the most important of knightly virtues. After some thought Merlin replies, ‘Truth, that’s it, Truth!’
I think he was right. It’s hard though sometimes, to be comfortable with our own truth, especially when we spend too much time thinking about what other people’s interpretations of our truth, might be. Or when the well-intentioned advice of those who love us is contrary to our truth.
The definition of truth is ‘a fact or belief that is accepted as true’. So what you believe to be true may differ from what someone else believes to be true. So, I’m going to go for sincerity. (definition the absence of pretence, deceit, or hypocrisy’. Works for me!
So, I, (yep, this ones definitely about me, again), didn’t tell a story last year and I should’ve done. I sincerely believe that to be true. The content of that story is on the video, follow the link, this blog is the story of how it came to be told.
I go on Shamanic journeys on a fairly regular basis. They are a kind of waking dream, all the contents come from your mind, but mostly the subconscious, and mostly the contents are not what I expect or have even been thinking about at the time. Hopefully they are the answer to the question I wish to ponder, but not always.
One August day last year I sat down to go on a journey and what I got I can only describe as a vision. Full on High Def panoramic at that. Pretty high-level content indeed, but what really scared me was the strength of it. I talked to those nearest and dearest to me because I needed to tell this story, but I know from reading that the power of a vision is not the vision itself, but in the telling, in whatever format.
We agreed not to tell it. I would record a video explaining visions first.
What followed was a series of frustrations, all my software stopped working. I was baffled and so were my tech guys. I even changed my PC but even that drastic approach didn’t change anything. All of a sudden, my blogs and social media posts stopped getting any engagement, my reach seemed to close in. Attendees on my experiences became far fewer. As did garden design leads. Even animal sign seemed to suggest stop posting and recording, so I went into a kind of half-life. A chrysalis stage maybe.
A few months later, I began dancing, with a sword, ‘sord’nce ing’… That is a major part of my life now. I found some great people to work with and build my designs. But very few new leads, a few delayed from last year, but all very quiet.
Then in April, my steel Katana arrived, and dance took on a new level, this katana had weight and inertia. I thought my new katana would replace my older wooden one, but no, the two provide a greater experience of weight, movement and balance and connection. They are both of equal importance. A lesson there.
I felt good.
It was whilst dancing that I got well and truly buzzed by a blackbird, a female blackbird at that. Straight at me, just stopping inches from my face before flying away. That’s not normal behaviour so I’m intrigued, what is she trying to tell me?
Blackbird is all about song. A song that is loud and proud. A song that is heard independently of the opinions of others. At first, I thought that meant dance, loud and proud, and indeed I do, and I love it.
I was still unsure though. At a retreat the next weekend, I spoke to a learned and wise man. We will always have times when we need the advice of mentors. He told me, he ‘could see me’ and that I should journey more on the energy of blackbird. It was at this time I began thinking about the vision I had had last year. Should I tell it?
I had certainly managed to make a few videos recently that had worked without hitch. I had leads beginning to come into the business and they were beginning to convert.
I unintentionally upset a gentleman on one of my posts and he rightly pointed out the error of my ways, that and the comments of various people at meeting about how much they enjoy my writings and videos pointed out to me that my reach was once again expanding. All those elements that had shut down were once again opening.
At a dance workshop I attended, the leader told me I was a very expressive dancer. ME, an expressive dancer. I’ll take that.
I journeyed, as advised, on the energy of blackbird. It was one of the most joyous and happy journeys I have ever had. I danced with blackbird as she sang, we twirled and danced, sharing time and space together, worries kept trying to intrude, but recognising them and letting them go, we kept dancing. Yes all those things were in my mind, but not in the way they were presented.
I had a meeting with a lady, an experienced healer, who told me that as long as I am sincere in what I put out there people will listen, so…
Just to round it off, this morning wasp was all around me for over an hour. I felt no fear and I didn’t get stung. Wasp showing up means focus on the task at hand with joy and enthusiasm, so…
The story of the vision must be told, along with a dream I had a week or so before, because together they were even more powerful.
Enjoy the video.
Have you ever been sincere in your weirdness?
Simon Pollard Urban Countryman.