It was certainly my father who told me he said it. I was a teenager at the time and it seemed like the strangest thing to say. After all, why wish for something you don’t want? Seems bizarre really, but the more you think about it we do it all the time.
Chris Martin said in the lyrics to Fix You ‘When you get what you want, but not what you need’.
It’s a human condition to want an instant fix to any problem and we do it all the time. Usually to blot out pain, usually with some kind of intoxicant, alcohol is a legal favourite.
I’ve had a bad day at work, I’ll have a drink.
I just got seriously cut up on the road, I’ll have a drink.
Johnny just got into trouble for fighting again, I’ll have a drink.
We even do it if we’ve had success, I just got the job, I’ll have a drink.
Those are obvious examples, but often we focus on the exact opposite of what we want. And then get the very opposite of what we want. Which is probably what Wellington was on about.
Think about it, we all say I’d like to be rich. But do you think constantly about being rich, or more likely on the fact that you are not rich?
If you don’t like your job, do you focus on finding a new job or the fact that you don’t like the one you have?
Are you, in your opinion, overweight, do you focus on how you’d like to be or wallow in the fact that you are ‘overweight’?
Is that you?
It’s all of us from time to time.
It’s really hard to wish for the things we want and not those that we don’t. Especially in the world we have created for ourselves to live in. The pressures from social media, from the TV, from the news are extreme.
Buy now, pay later! And pay lots of interest while you are doing it.
The pressure to buy the latest product, for example, the latest I phone or car…
The social pressure to go out and have a drink, when that’s a very expensive pastime is intense.
Spend, spend, spend, is the message that is broadcast to us continually though the TV and social media.
I wrote recently about the difference it can make to your life if you respond rather than react to the situations around you. That’s a lot easier to do if your mind is working slowly. Not slow, but slowly.
It’s easiest to respond to situations when your mind is at peace, and just maybe that comes down to being careful as to what we wish for, because that will determine the self-talk we engage in, and we talk to ourselves all the time.
I’m not good enough, I’ll never manage to get another job, I’ll never manage to pay the mortgage, no one likes me, it can’t be done or I’ve got too much to do, is a selection I’ve heard, and said.
We defeat ourselves before we start on many an occasion.
Of course, if we want to change, we need to actually, want, to change and not focus on the presumed ‘fact’ that we can’t change.
To do that we need to slow our mind. The best place for that is right on our doorstep, where ever you live,
I can help you with that…
Head over to the experiences page.
Simon pollard, Countryman and Modern-Day Pagan